You. Yes, YOU. It’s A Potent Word
“Are you talkin’ to me?”
Robert De Niro, Tax Driver
Every day, other people use the self-reference bias to influence you. Do you know how? Do you want to know how you can use it to persuade others?
WHAT IS THE SELF-REFERENCE BIAS?
In simple terms, the self-relevance bias means that you will remember and be influenced by something more if it implicates you.
WHY IS “YOU” SO POWERFUL?
“You” is the most common example of the self-reference bias. In fact, using the word “you” is one of the first rules of good copywriting. Content that uses “you” will be much more effective than if it used generalizers like “they”, “people”, or “we”.
It’s like a form of reciprocity; when someone gives you attention, you unconsciously feel the need to give them something in return.
As Robert Cialdini explains in Pre-Suasion:
“when recipients get a message that is self-relevant because it has been tailored specifically for them . . . , they are more likely to lend it attention, find it interesting, take it seriously, remember it, and save it for future reference.”
EXAMPLES
Consider the following:
(1) “People that read Win Bigly won’t regret the useful tools they’ll pick up.”
Compared to:
(2) “You won’t regret the useful tools you will pick up when you read Win Bigly.”
The second seems to pull you more into action, right? It’s talking to you.
FIRST NAMES
The only more powerful word would be that person’s actual name. As Dale Carnegie wrote in How to Win Friends and Influence People: “Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
But short of using a person’s actual name, the word “you” is the best tool you have.
ALWAYS USE “YOU”, EXCEPT WHEN YOU SHOULDN’T
Sometimes you may want to use “we”, especially in (1) a work setting and (2) certain negotiations. As a general rule, any time you want to promote a sense of working together for a common goal, using “we” is probably preferable to “you”.
HOW YOU WILL LEVERAGE “YOU”
- Website — Do you have an existing website that needs to be re-framed to use “you”? Look for “we”, “they”, and “people”.
- Ads — How can you try variations of an ad, and test the effect of “you”?
- Slogans — Some slogans and pitches benefit by using “you”. How can you do so? For example, Redbull “gives you wings” and Verizon asks “can you hear me now?”
- Client Emails — When communicating with existing or potential clients, are you using “you”? Consider putting a post-it note on your computer reminding you to do so.
How have you leveraged “you” to persuade and influence? Where have you seen “you” used by others? Share your expertise in the comments.
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Every time you interact with the world, the tools of persuasion are used for or against you. Fortunately for you, they’re easy to learn. Levers of Persuasion is a winning, trusted site for helping you learn and hone these tools.
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